Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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