AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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