we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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