It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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