She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
