I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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