Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
