its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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