Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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