do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
