those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
