I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
