i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
