Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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