Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
