I miss vodka workout Fridays
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
PANTIES FOUND
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