You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
