we have pet lesbian snakes
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
