oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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