Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
