You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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