Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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