Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize