Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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