theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You are a genius and a whore.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
