I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That accounts for only three of the penises
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
