Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
