Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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