Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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