I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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