turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
