He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
