Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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