My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
