i'm signing you up for texting rehab
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
