I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
