we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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