Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
