just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
