Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just gargled with NyQuil
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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