You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize