i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
