They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
