Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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