I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
