What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
