I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
