I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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