So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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