I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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