my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
