new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
