what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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