it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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