Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
