Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
