are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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