ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
