Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
