so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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