She announced her abortion via fbk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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