if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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