So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
