Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
