you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
